Going steady with Lisa for three months had been an experience. I'd never been in a relationship that had so many ups and downs to it. We'd had sex together after the second date. At first, she'd tried to make me believe that I had been her first. After I told her what Nick and Clancy Edwards had told me, she quickly amended her claim, now saying I was the fourth boy she'd been with, then trying to explain why those other three shouldn't be counted, because it hadn't seemed real to her at the time. I'd told her that her being with those other three boys didn't matter to me, which was mostly true. She was my first, and that did matter to me.It took about a week before things settled down and got calm again at school. Most of the girls in my classes weren't speaking to me, or to Nora, for that matter. The boys were an entirely different matter though. This was certainly true for me, but even more true with Nora. The rise in her popularity among the boys was instant and incredible. When. “Great Danes, mom.” I shot back.“Oh, son, I don’t think it’s acceptable in 2020 to have whips like these for the animals,” she chided.“Tough shit!” I responded, having no good comeback for that one.“Language, Steve-O!” Mom huffed.I sighed.“Where’s the hole in this red rubber ball? How do you wear it as a clown’s nose?”“Mom, let’s just…”“Ooh, what are these tiny little clamps for?” she asked, picking up the new nipple clamps I’d bought for my gal.“Those are nail clippers, Ma!” Hey, her sight is failing too, she might believe that!Then she saw the Hitachi wand. “Oh, what a nice powerful back massager!” she exclaimed.“That’s to massage the St. Bernards, they have thick hair,” I said, shaking my head as she continued farther into the dungeon.“Honey is that a dentist’s chair? Are you studying to be a dentist?” she asked.Huh?“Yes, sure Mom, do-it-yourself dentistry is the latest rage!” I lied.“Jesus is missing from that cross, Steve-O,” she chastised.“He’s out preaching, Mom!” I said,.
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